....I have days where I ask myself, "what the heck were you thinking?!" Today (okay EVERY day this week) has been one of those days. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until I can't sleep anymore. I want all my stress and my anxiety to just go away. I want to hide in a closet and pretend the outside world doesn't exist. I want a vacation that involves NO child, NO stress, NO SNOW or COLD and some sunshine on my face. I also want to stop wanting these things because the fact is this: they're not going to happen. I try to remember all my blessings and think of others who I am sure have it much more difficult than I. Every time I get like this I think of my sisters and how they each have more children than me (and some that DON'T sleep), coaching jobs, busy working husbands, their own dinner to make, etc....and my cousin Heidi who has 3 kids, one on the way, and is getting ready to go to Med School. Then there's my friend, Shari, whose husband is gone a lot! He is gone serving our Country and she rarely if ever utters a complaint. There are many more examples like these in my life. And then there's me...
So, I apologize for the rant/complaining session, but no matter how much I try to realize how many others are in harder positions than myself it is hard to just relax and release all my stress and anxiety. Sometimes writing about it helps. We'll see....
5 comments:
Vi, well I think you're doing awesome at combatting it! You're seriously so great! You are one of the nicest people I know, you are a great mom, and a great sister! I love you! Hope your day starts going better :)
Your past two posts have spoken to me SO MUCH, Vi! I feel THE SAME WAY! Although I know I have it so good and seemingly so easy compared to others, why do I still have a hard time and why does my life seem hard sometimes?! I think you (and me, and pretty much every other woman) need to stop comparing ourselves to others and be okay with the fact that our struggles are our struggles and we don't need to worry if they are "worthy" struggles when compared to others. Sure, other people may seem to have it "harder", but your trials are your trials and until someone has gone through the same thing you have, they don't know how hard YOU have it. You are a fabulous person and an inspiration to me on many levels. (Hello, I would die trying to run 3 miles, let alone marathons!) Thank you for expressing exactly how I feel so very often. It makes me feel like I am not alone in my feelings and struggles. :) I love you!
Vi, I have been feeling exactly the same way lately but especially today, so reading this just put my thoughts into words. I remember having only Tel and it was hard. Ramona once said to me when I asked her how she did it with her 10 kids "No matter how many kids you have and no matter your situation they will take ALL of your time!" So no matter how many kids you have, as mothers, we know that whether it be 1, 3, 5, or 13, it is hard work. If you only knew how often I wish I could be more like you, but as Holly said, it is time that we all stop comparing ourselves. You do a wonderful job and I admire you.
Violet, you are too sweet! But seriously, I have a lot of help, and couldn't do any of what I do without it! I felt the same when I had one...and then two...and now three (almost 4) kids. It's exhausting any way you look at it. And it doesn't seem to matter whether I'm staying at home with one, or going to school and working with three-you're always busy! Believe me, I think we ALL get down and have slumps sometimes, and it's ok! I can't wait for everyone to get together next summer! We're going to have so much fun!!!
Thanks, Ladies. You are all so kind. I appreciate your "pick-me-ups" and please know how much I love and admire EACH ONE of you!
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