Sometimes...

....I have days where I ask myself, "what the heck were you thinking?!"  Today (okay EVERY day this week) has been one of those days.  I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until I can't sleep anymore.  I want all my stress and my anxiety to just go away. I want to hide in a closet and pretend the outside world doesn't exist. I want a vacation that involves NO child, NO stress, NO SNOW or COLD and some sunshine on my face.  I also want to stop wanting these things because the fact is this: they're not going to happen.  I try to remember all my blessings and think of others who I am sure have it much more difficult than I.  Every time I get like this I think of my sisters and how they each have more children than me (and some that DON'T sleep), coaching jobs, busy working husbands, their own dinner to make, etc....and my cousin Heidi who has 3 kids, one on the way, and is getting ready to go to Med School.  Then there's my friend, Shari, whose husband is gone a lot! He is gone serving our Country and she rarely if ever utters a complaint.  There are many more examples like these in my life.  And then there's me...

So, I apologize for the rant/complaining session, but no matter how much I try to realize how many others are in harder positions than myself it is hard to just relax and release all my stress and anxiety.  Sometimes writing about it helps.  We'll see....

Sometimes All We Need...

...is a little reminder of WHY we do things.  I talked on the phone with my sister Taffy yesterday.  The subject of blogging came up.  I told her that I feel like every one of my posts is the same-old-same-old....a picture overload of Sedona.  I'm sure it's really boring to most people.  So I haven't been as dedicated as I have been in the last year.  

Taffy reminded me that blogging for others isn't necessarily WHY I should blog.  I should do it for ME. To have something to look back on.  Afterall, it is MY form of scrap-booking.  So, I'm sorry if it's boring and somewhat redundant to all of you, but I don't want to miss a thing.

Therefore, you will continue to see tons of pictures of this sweet little thing.  

 The Loves of my life!!

He is such a good Dad.  

 Her concentration face...she gets this one from me.

 I came out of the kitchen the other day to see this little sight.  

That sheep chair is the gift that keeps on giving.  

Her Aunt Dede gave it to her for her first birthday and she finds time to 

give it "loves" every day...multiple times a day.

She is getting really good at pretending.  She brought me this baby doll and this blanket and said "Nap, nap!"  So I wrapped up the baby and she rocked the baby to sleep and laid it down for a nap on MY lap.  So cute!  Look at her face.  She is just too precious.

Finding Joy...

This little minute (as my Grandpa would call her) finds joy in the simplest things.  She reminds me daily how much life is meant to be enjoyed and not just lived.  I tend to become a "survivor" of life when I get stressed and overwhelmed; rarely taking the time to just soak it all in.  I was looking through some pictures yesterday and was filled with an overwhelming feeling of guilt for not being "present." 

Here are some of my reminders:

This picture is just "magical"... 

 I don't get in on very many pics, but I'm so glad I have this little treasure. 

Her smile is priceless. Makes me feel like I might be doing SOMETHING right.

 She finds joy in things as simple as a diaper box and a colored pencil.

Bed head at its finest. 

She climbed the ladder to the top and went down all by herself.

She is getting so big.  Since when?

I swear, I blinked and this happened.  

These rolls aren't just any rolls.  They're the kind my Mom makes.  I don't think I will ever make a different kind.  Whenever I make these, my mind goes way back to when I was a little girl standing on my stool next to the bar table, "helping" mom pat the dough and twist it. I wore the apron Sedona now wears and had the same magical look in my eyes Sedona has whenever she "helps" me.

Often, my Mom's rolls were for purposes other than feeding her family.  They were for other people.  This particular batch of rolls was meant for helping a family in my ward who had just experienced a tragedy.  I couldn't help but think of my Mom and be grateful for all the things she taught me.

Speaking of my Mom, she kinda helped me with this one, too.  She made a beautiful blessing dress for Sedona and felt that it needed an underslip to go with it.  So, she made one out of an old slip she had.

I have been wanting another one for Sedona because, well, call me vain but some of her church dresses just don't look as cute with the white onesie showing at her neckline. I pulled out an old slip yesterday and, using the slip my Mom made as a guide, whipped out this adorable little piece.  It fits perfectly and will serve its purpose as well.

I found joy in making rolls for someone else and in making this slip for my little girl who brings me so much joy.  Sometimes I just need to slow down and take time for the things that bring real joy.